okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
