then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
