what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
