opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!