man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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