i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
