fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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