You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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