Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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