What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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