We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
