She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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