I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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