i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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