im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
