He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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