Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
