Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
