i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
