So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
