I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
