i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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