pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
