That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
