you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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