i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
