Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
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Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.