Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.