And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
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In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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