i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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