Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
