I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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