Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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