Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
