please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Terrible idea I love it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
