you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
