If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
