so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
