My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
