Dual....:-)
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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