He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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