Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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