I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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