Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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