The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize