Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
