we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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