YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We're too hungover to prance.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
