new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
