I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
