id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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