Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
