He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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